I am extremely close to getting a new camera. I have had the same Canon Rebel Xsi since 2008. It’s still alive and kicking, but I know I need to upgrade and let the old one function as a back up, or to use at shows. This old camera has brought me much joy, creativity, and exploration. I look back on my old work and how I have learned so much since I first got that camera.
Getting this new camera will mark a new change for my photography. In that past, I have offered photo shoot specials for paid shoots. I have bartered photo shoots with people. I’ve done some shoots outside of my preferred artistic genre…I was pleased with some, others I wasn’t. Some of those shoots had almost nothing to do with a creative vision of my own, leaving me feeling like time was wasted. Model Mayhem has worked well for me most of the time, but it’s not so easy for me to find people that click with me on a creative level these days. Just like most artists who have collaborated with others, you sometimes get a vision that, once mixed with another persons, it doesn’t look so much like what you originally visualized any more.
Moving forward, I do not wish to offer myself as a service. I don’t want to rent myself out for weddings, baby bump or kiddy pictures. I don’t want to offer paid shoots to inexperienced models who look like scenester kids so they can have pictures to upload on Facebook. I’m not going to throw a concept out there to have someone butcher it and distort the outcome. All I want is to be an artist. I have been sketching out many of my ideas these days, and I want to use them to completely customize my visions so I know my subjects are clear. I’m not going to seek out models to shoot with me. I have friends who already understand my mind and are perfectly capable collaborating with me on projects I have in store for this path I’m on. No glamour or fashion. Just grit and fucked up shit. No compromising anymore.